"I Played Oblivion Blacked-Out Drunk" - 10th Anniversary Remastered Edition
36 replies, posted
Ten years ago today, joecool posted "I played Oblivion blacked-out drunk and here's what happened (via picture story)". His tale of an alcohol-fuelled rampage through the streets of Cyrodiil is one of the most fondly remembered OPs in Facepunch history, and now has more than 40 pages of replies.
Unfortunately, all of the images in the original thread have been deleted by imageshack, and even archive.org didn't save some of them. As @chunkymonkey noted in his reposting of the OP earlier this year, three of the images have seemingly been lost forever.
To mark the tenth anniversary of the thread I contacted joecool, who has since departed FP. Not only did he agree to answer a few questions about his experience, but amazingly after all this time, he was able to provide original copies of the three lost images.
And so to celebrate the original thread's 10th birthday, I can now present for the first time a fully restored version of the original OP:
I played Oblivion blacked-out drunk and here's what happened (via picture story)
It was Friday night in Tokyo and I had just come back from some lame club. Since I’m 20 and the drinking age in Japan is 20, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to equate this to me being royally housed.
But apparently I was much drunker than I remembered…or didn’t remember. A few days after this heavy night of drinking, I clicked on Oblivion eager to play. But then a message popped up stating “Insert Oblivion disc into drive.” I was confused; I never took the Oblivion disc out since the last time I played it. Or did I?
As I removed my Radiohead DVD and put the Oblivion disc in, the gears started turning. Did I play Oblivion without me knowing so? When I loaded up the files and saw what was there, the answer was yes.
But it goes further than that.
I am a monster!
The first thing I notice is the gap between my previous files and these two mysterious saves. Almost four hours! What the fuck was I doing? I must’ve been a lot drunker than I thought not to have remembered playing four hours. Guess that explains why I woke up the next morning with no recollection of falling asleep in the first place.
The Great Hall? I don’t even know where that is. Let’s see what’s going on.
Okay, well, things look pretty normal here. I’m in some castle. I guess I must’ve picked up something that detects life.
Then I turn around.
Uh…nothing is picking up life here. Just recently I became kind of bored with being super powerful and all and started to level up on things like hand to hand just so I could go to the arena and punch minotaur lords in the FACE! But I didn’t think I’d be killing people instead! Maybe I notched the difficulty laughably low…
Well, it’s not what I usually play at (3/4’s) but it’s still a little bit less than half, which I guess is pretty decent for a blacked out drunk. I probably was using some kick ass weapon.
What the fcuk? Okay…apparently I used a sigil stone I had sitting around, enchanted this sword I picked up, and drunkenly named it “fcuk you UP!” How appropriate. And what the hell am I wearing? I’m a level 36 character but I look like a reject from the movie A Dungeon Siege Tale. Maybe I got some good armor and shit on…
I am a master in light armor, so it makes perfect sense that, besides the stolen “Bands of Kwang Lao” (which adds 25 Hand to Hand points, really helpful while brandishing a sword), everything else is heavy armor. It also seems like I’ve stolen a bunch of jewelry from somewhere. Uh-oh. My inventory is full of Blades equipment…
I am in Bruma. I have no active quests here at all so why am I here? Apparently to kill a shit load of people. Dead guards and citizens are everywhere and it astounds me why I just didn’t equip some of their fallen armor. Did I spare any guards?
Looks like I WHAT THE FUCK. 99757 coins?! How…in the hell? What did I do, rape all of Bruma? Considering I’m this far in, I kill a few guards and escape to a place that should elcome me with warm arms…
…except the warm arms have been sliced off and shoved up their respective owners’ asses. After exploring Cloud Temple Ruler, I discover I’ve killed EVERY SINGLE BLADE there. Every last one. I even killed the horses.
“What have I done?” I ask to myself. With that, I open up my “Accomplishments” tab to check my evil doings:
Well, 166 murders, that doesn’t seem that horrific. Let me save and load a good file, one I fortunately saved before going on a pillage that would make a Viking tear.
35 murders! That’s it? Doesn’t seem like that many more…wait…that’s 131 murders in four hours . And I’ve completed the entire Dark Brotherhood quests.
In 4 four hours, for a guy that’s leveled his character through ninety hours already, I managed to:
Murder 131 people
Assault 65 people
Steal 198 items
Build up a bounty of 99575 coins
Build up an infamy of 140 points
Steal 1 horse (though they don’t account for horse murders)
All this accomplished from a guy running around on moderate difficulty with equipped armor that goes against my armor skills while being black out drunk.
The damage has been done
After loading back the drunk files, I start wondering where all my Knights of the Nine stuff went to. Sure, after killing two people you’re unable to equip any of its armor, but it doesn’t remove the items from your inventory. Let me check my hometown Chorrol, where I own a massive estate.
Oh God, looks like I struck here as well. Strange the town’s people are just meandering about, as if five or so dead people lying around is perfectly normal. They start conversing about mudcrabs. I check my estate and my armor is nowhere to be found. The gears start turning again. I can only think of one other place where my armor would be and that’s in the Imperial City, the heart of the Tamriel.
And it seems that the Nine have shat on the entire city.
And despite the piles of bodies as if the gates of Oblivion had opened up, killed all of these people, and left because even they thought what they did was fucked up, there’s still people meandering the streets, walking between corpses without a care in the world.
And yes, that torch was still burning when I got there.
I have no idea what happened here.
I will not die a monster!
After killing a dozen or so guards to get to my shanty shit hole (seriously, out of all the fucking houses in the Imperial City, why can you only buy a house that the three little fucking pigs would laugh at?) I found my actual useful armor in one chest. Now I decided to throw in the towel and serve my time. First, I decide to drop all of the items I stole.
I have no idea where I got any of these things from especially where I managed to acquire 49 bottles Surilie Brother’s finest (I wonder how it would taste in real life). Hmm. Perhaps this is the reason I dumped all my armor so I can go around carrying an entire wine cellar and a bakery in my pockets.
So I finally resisted the resisting arrest and got thrown in. After breaking out, I decided I should really stop and serve my time. When I got out, I checked how many days I was in the slammer.
And then loaded the sober file.
DEAR FUCKING GOODNESS. After playing through 90 hours, I’ve only managed to get through 203 days in the game. I was in jail for over five times than that! If I wanted to get through that many days, I would, lets see, have to play for 565 hours.
In the end, I was horrified by all my acts, decided to repent, and walk the Way of the Nines to get my Knights armor back…haha, fuck that I’m just going to start from the sober files. But seriously, I regret killing every person in my blacked out rage.
Except this guy.
Thank you so much to joecool for making this possible. I thought I might as well ask if he had backups of the lost images, but ten years on I was not expecting him to say yes.
As I did with SlaughterDog, the original creator of LMAO Pics, I also asked joecool a few questions about his life on FP.
An Interview With Joecool
What's your Facepunch life story, how did you find it and why/when did you leave?
I forget exactly how I stumbled across Facepunch. I mostly likely found the forum through connections in the Team Fortress 2 and Gmod communities. Once I discovered FP, I decided to stay because the forums were well organized and moderated (even though the ban hammer hit me from time to time), there was constant new content, and the users were funny and good people.
Nowadays I spend most of my time on Reddit (under thewittyman), but I should really start posting again on FP!
What do you remember about the Oblivion incident/aftermath?
10 years later, I still cannot recall anything from that infamous Oblivion play through. I was THAT plastered. In 2008, I was 20 years old studying in Japan. 20 is the age to drink, so it was my first experience legally buying alcohol. There were a few occasions when I took advantage of this...
On one of those occasions, I came home from an uninspiring club and I was completely loaded. Like blackout, stumbling over myself, embarrassingly inebriated. According to my roommate, I fired up Oblivion, and played for several hours.
When I awoke the next morning, I felt like a steamy pile of hot garbage. I didn't remember much from the night before, but I was alive and in my own bed so no harm right? A few days later I decided to play Oblivion, but the game disk wasn't in my laptop. After my drunken play through, I apparently swapped out Oblivion for a Radiohead music video DVD (In Rainbows launched in 2008, and I was beyond fortunate to see them live in Japan, so I was binging their material).
I quickly discovered I had committed horrible crimes against Cyrodiil's citizens. I decided to chronicle my nefarious deeds in MS paint, post to FP, and the rest is history. I suppose it’s fun to have a sliver of relatively harmless internet infamy. The only other thing I'm "known" for is my Banana Phone Gmod video, which was also first posted to FP!
Do you play many games these days? Still into Bethesda+alcohol?
I am still actively gaming. After sinking over 2000 hours in TF2, I switched over to Overwatch and primarily play that (DonkeyD0ng#11544, a nod to my immature steam user ID). When I like to keep my blood pressure low, I'll play single player games like Planet Coaster, the Deus Ex and Mass Effect series, and Skyrim. I also have a Switch and most of Nintendo's first party offerings.
My most anticipated games are Cyberpunk 2077, Animal Crossing and of course Elder Scrolls VI, whenever the hell that will come out.
Nowadays, I actually don't drink at all, so future NPCs can rest easy. I decided to put the bottle aside to focus on my relationship, career, and other hobbies like biking and digital photography.
Has it really been 10 years?
biggest twist for me is that he also made the banana phone video which is legendary
This thread deserves to be kept alive forever, and it's dope you did a follow up with joecool. I had no idea that they also made the Banana phone video, it was one of the reasons I got Gmod in late 2006/early 2007
now THIS is whatI call a remaster
Good fucking times.
What a legend.
smurfy is based
Such a big part of Facepunch history, I love this legendary thread. Always manages to make me laugh. It can never die
God bless Joecool, and Smurfy for the Remaster.
OP you reminded me that time flies and that makes me awfully sad
love that you went to the effort to hit him up for this, truly a legendary moment in facepunch history
better make use of it while you still can
We almost lost this masterpiece of a story. This needs to be preserved.
I'm so glad to see this alive once again.
Nah I usually only edit the wiki every so often when I get the urge
Anyone can request an account and then an admin has to approve it. Best way we found to keep bots and trolls from shitting it up. @ me if you wanna get an account approved
I did, after having a wrestling match with the improperly ordered image names already there. Included a link to this thread too!
I was just thinking about this because I got blackout drunk last Saturday and played CSGO and don't remember any of it, and the demo is so fucking funny.
I remember posting in the original thread.
How time flies.
The original is one of the few FP threads I bookmarked and was my go-to example when someone would ask why I used this forum over others.
Oh fuck I'm having a crisis it's 10 years old God save us all.
when's the fuck shit up 10 yr anniversary
Wow, 10 days ago apparently, but I didn't happen to notice that one coming up
Well fuck, you found the pictures. And the guy.
Don't forget, next summer is the 10th anniversary of Drunk man sticks two hammers up his ass.
wow this and fuck shit up happened at the same time
now i remember why i stuck around this forum
You've done god's work bringing this back
@smurfy ya fuckin legend
Hard to believe that ten years ago we had to use disks to play video games.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.